I suppose I should warn you that if you are looking for a story of great miracles, ghostly apparitions, or personal tragedies leading to an irrational decision to believe in God, you will not find it here. What you will find, however, is a person who spent a lot of years looking for answers to decide what to believe in and why. Is God nothing more than Biblical mythology that people use to explain things they do not understand or is God real? Was Jesus Christ a religious zealot who gained fame for martyring Himself of a cross or was He the Son of God?
The reasons why I chose Christianity as a belief system go far deeper than most people even consider when pondering religion or science.
In The Beginning
My grandparents introduced me to Christendom at the age of seven, but by the age of fourteen I had lost all interest in Church and the Bible because, like many other children, I became disillusioned that my home life did not reflect what Church taught, nor what I had learned from the Bible. My parents are wonderful people, but religion was not a focus of their attention when I was living at home and many of my friend’s parents were the same way. By the time I started high school, I had picked up on the “Santa Clause/Easter Bunny” attitude towards God of the people around me and began to follow suit.
Although God still seemed contrived to me, I still fancied reading about man’s belief systems and the deities they worshiped in the past. I became fascinated by books about the gods and goddesses of the ancient Sumerian, Babylonian, Egyptian, Norse, Roman, and Greek cultures that gave meaning to life, death, the sun, the moon, and the fruits of the earth as well as the terrors of nature.
Eventually, a different kind of literature took my interest in the form of studying occult philosophies. I read the Satanic Bible, the Necronomicon, the Hebrew Kabbalah, several books on alchemy, magnetism, and on the ancient “magicks” of invocations, ceremonies, rituals, and talismans. Initially, my interest in occult philosophies was a mixture of curiosity and rebellion, but they led to studying the psychological and behavioral patterns of the people around me.
It is difficult to ignore the effect that the introduction of tarot cards, a ouiji board, or other esoteric “playthings” have on the psyche of those who come in contact with them. But this is nothing compared to the fragile psyche of a person who has decided to, for whatever reason, pursue demonology. The intricacies involved in the ancient arts of talisman creation or invocation and ceremonial magicks are arduous, to say the least, and require years of dedication to produce results, often leaving the person in a state of madness along the way.
Witchcraft seemed more like a downward spiral to insanity than the archaic mystery it presented itself as. This made me come to the logical conclusion that sorcery and witchcraft were no more real than God, the Devil, or the Mad Arab. They were products of delusional people who claimed to know some “secret stuff” that does not exist in reality.
Purpose & Understanding
By the time I graduated High school I was completely atheist. I believed that “gods” were a concept that men devised to explain what they could not understand. Science, on the other hand, was well on its way to explaining creation, the universe, and human evolution in a factual way; or so I thought.
Researching the science behind “the big bang” and “evolution” theories show two indisputable facts:
- The “big bang theory” requires the belief that something came from nothing and the “evolution theory” requires the belief that a chain of species continually wound its way through many other chains of species that still exist and managed to evolve into sentient, intelligent human beings. Both require blind leaps of faith.
- The “big bang” and “evolution” theories define no purpose behind the universe and humanity by citing these phenomenon as random occurrences. However, the scientific probabilities that these events occurred at random are staggering and require, once again, a blind leap of faith.
Physiology and biology are not the only theoretical sciences that require blind faith leaps, the sciences of meteorology, nutrition, chemistry, medicine, psychology, sociology, and the list goes on… have all peddled theory as scientific fact while ignoring their own claims that turn out to falsely in the process.
Why I Believe In God
After finding many flaws in the biological and physiological theories that science presents I came to the conclusion that there are really only two choices available to people and each has its own consequence:
- To deny a supreme being exists, one must believe that the universe is the product of random circumstance; giving life no meaning, whatsoever. There is no hope or threat of an afterlife, no reward or punishment, and no moral obligation to ethical or lawful behavior because the differences between “right” and “wrong” take their authority from personal or social acceptance.
- To accept a supreme being exists, one must believe that the universe has purpose, that life has meaning, that “right” and “wrong” derive their definitions from a higher authority than humanity, and that an afterlife is the key to enforcing reward or punishment for immoral, unethical, and/or unlawful behavior during life.
In the hands of men, choice #1 leads mankind to chaos and potential anarchy while choice #2 brings order and potential tyranny. Being the “independent thinker”, I chose the middle. In short, I chose to believe that a supreme being brings order to chaos, but I remained extremely wary of the potential for the tyranny of men to pervert religion for money or power.
Now for the hard part, what religion should I choose or should I even choose one?
Fishing For Religion
Christians, Jews, and Muslims alike all recognize versions of the Torah (the first five books of the Bible) as sacred scriptures of their specific religions, therefore, they all “technically” share the same God. After that, things become obtuse to people why these three religions are always at odds with each other. Briefly:
Judaism does not accept Christ as the Messiah, it has denied His divinity and labeled Him a false prophet. They are still waiting for a messiah to lead them out of physical as well as spiritual bondage.
Islam does not accept Christ as the Messiah either, telling a very different story of Jesus and the prophet Mohammed. For them, peace can only be established by spreading Islāmic law to every corner of the Earth.
The obvious question is, “why was the message of Jesus Christ such a big issue with these specific religions?” Perhaps this will shed an interesting light on why:
Lucifarians (or Satan worshipers), while refusing to bow before the God of the Torah, still recognize Him as the supreme being. The Satanic argument revolves around whether Jesus Christ was a human martyr or the Son of God.
Not only do Christians, Jews, and Muslims all share the same God, they also share the same deceiver.
By now, I had reason to believe in a supreme being and a reason to pursue the understanding of Christian literature. I began by purchasing a study Bible, methodically reading the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, while cross referencing them with the Old Testament scriptures to try to get the “bigger picture” behind God and Jesus Christ. Over time, I became fairly proficient with the Christian Biblical scriptures and felt I had a solid grasp on its teachings.
I spent the next seventeen years looking for a mentor whose approach to teaching Biblical theology did not cause major conflicts with my own understandings of the Bible. Since, I have attended hundreds of Apostolic, Evangelical, Presbyterian, and missionary services and have walked through the doors of at least twenty different Protestant denominations. On four occasions I became interested enough in a parish to take part in Bible study courses, but they were always far too basic for me.
Finally, at the age of 42, I decided to stop avoiding the source of all Protestant Christian institutions and committed to a six month course to learn more about the Roman Catholic faith. Much to my surprise, I found these classes were not filled with basic introductions to Christianity. Instead, they actually complimented what I had already been able to comprehend from the Bible; furthering my thoughts and considerations of God and Christ, not leaving me confused or in a state of doubt.
I found my mentor in a 60 something Italian Priest who told me point-blank, “If you are not absolutely 100% sure you want to pursue the Catholic life after completing the course then you should NOT pursue becoming a Catholic because the Church does not need anymore half-assed Catholics than we already have.” I began attending Church services and saw many of the parishioners around me, who spend their time and money keeping up the Church and school, are actively involved in the community around me. They share a, very real, belief that God exists as well as the belief that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. They understand that Christianity is a lifestyle and that words like “love”, “belief”, and “faith” are Biblical verbs (actions), not adjectives (descriptions).
I was sold! Hook, line, and sinker!
Let’s be honest, there are thousands of people out there, all claiming Christianity, who have little to no knowledge of what is actually written in their own Bible, let alone what it all means. Many Christians are unaware that most of the writings in the Old Testament are a genealogical timeline that leads to the birth of Christianity. They have no idea how the Bible came into being, why certain writings did not make the last publication, which writings are historical and which are allegorical, or the difference between Biblical translation and interpretation, and etc…
So I urge you, as a fellow Christian, do not blindly follow any man, woman, or institution into indoctrination just because they make you feel good about yourself. Pick up the blessing bestowed upon our generation and educate yourself in the Bible. Read it, study it, question it, and scrutinize it so that you can confidently state that you made an informed choice to become a Christian and be ready to explain why.
May God bless you and help you on your way.